SOMETIMES a single word can feel like an escape route. Sorry. But when real harm has been done – when control, intimidation and fear have taken hold, and someone’s safety or wellbeing has been worn away – simply saying sorry is not enough. Accountability has to go further. Change has to begin.  

An Essex Police spokesperson said: “That’s why we’ve launched the next phase of Reflect, our award winning perpetrator focused campaign, with our partners at the Southend, Essex and Thurrock Domestic Abuse Board (SETDAB), we’re sending a clear message: change is possible, but it starts with acknowledging behaviour, taking responsibility, and seeking support. 

Abuse can affect anyone and be inflicted by anyone, regardless of gender, race, age, or background. We also recognise that, statistically, women are disproportionately harmed – and tackling violence against women and girls (VAWG) remains a main priority across Essex. With Reflect we’re sending a clear message: change is possible, but it begins with acknowledging our behaviour, taking responsibility, and seeking support when needed. 

Reflect speaks directly to people who may be using harmful behaviours, whether coercive, controlling, physical, verbal, sexual, financial or emotional. It also shines a light on the subtle actions that are often overlooked: ‘jokes’ that cut deep, the casual monitoring of a partner’s phone, the comments designed to belittle during an argument. These microaggressions can be the first threads in a pattern that later becomes abuse.  

Many individuals don’t recognise the full impact of what they’re doing. Jealousy framed as protection. Manipulation disguised as concern. Patterns of control brushed off as ‘just how relationships work’. Reflect invites people to pause, look inward, and confront these behaviours before they escalate.  

Through the campaign, we guide individuals to Essex Compass, the county’s single point of access for domestic abuse support. There, they can find behaviour change programmes and specialist interventions tailored to help them take meaningful steps toward safer, healthier relationships.  

Because taking responsibility isn’t about words. It’s about action. And it’s never too early or too late to reflect, seek support, and choose to change.  

‘Behaviour change saves lives’

Assistant Chief Constable Lucy Morris, Chair of SETDAB, said:  

“The Reflect campaign has shown the real impact a perpetrator focused approach can have. By engaging directly with those using harmful behaviours, we are not only reducing the risk to victims but preventing future abuse.  

“The previous edition of this campaign was recognised nationally for its innovative approach, aimed at those carrying out the abuse, and this refreshed phase builds on that success with powerful, thought provoking content that challenges people to take responsibility for their actions.  

“We launch this as we continue to bolster our domestic abuse investigation teams and ensure we continue to bring down violence against women and girls across Essex. It’s a force wide effort by staff and officers proactively tackling domestic abusers, making Clare’s Law disclosures to keep potential victims safe, and ensuring the orders we secure at the courts are enforced robustly as well.  

We are continuing this work because behaviour change saves lives. It creates safer homes, healthier relationships and stronger communities. I encourage everyone across Essex to take a moment to stop, think and reflect. Change is possible, but it starts with honesty.” 

‘Breaking unhealthy patters, creating stronger relationships’

Reflect reinforces the critical role of behaviour change programmes in breaking cycles of abuse. These interventions help individuals understand the causes of their behaviour, develop alternative coping mechanisms, and build skills for communication, emotional regulation and healthy relationships.  

This latest phase introduces bold new visuals, striking graphics and an emotive film urging individuals to confront their own harmful behaviours. The updated call to action, “Sorry doesn’t cut it – Reflect on your abusive behaviour”, invites people to move beyond excuses and take responsibility for their actions.

Kate Grindley, Cranstoun’s Essex Service Manager, said: 

“Each year, we support more than 15,000 adults and young people across the country through a wide range of services, with a strong focus on education, early intervention and preventing harm. 

“Everyday comments, attitudes, and behaviours might seem small, but if they go unchallenged or become normal over time, they can lead to more serious and harmful actions. 

“Our aim is to step in early and prevent that from happening. We encourage everyone to take a moment to reflect on how their words and actions may affect others – and themselves. 

“We know it isn’t always easy to reflect on your own behaviour or admit when you may have got things wrong. But taking that step can help break unhealthy patterns and create safer, stronger relationships for you and the people around you.” 

Anyone who recognises their behaviour in the themes of Reflect is encouraged to contact Essex Compass, which connects individuals with behaviour change specialists and tailored support designed to stop harmful behaviour at its source.

If you need support to change your behaviour visit Essex Compass: https://www.essexcompass.org.uk/reflect-reset/

Sorry doesn’t cut it. For more information visit: https://www.essex.police.uk/police-forces/essex-police/areas/essex-police/campaigns/campaigns/reflect/  

See the campaign launch video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmzcGJumlX8